Kallen Kozuki (Done)

[Kallen Kozuki]

Name: Kallen Kozuki

Alias: Kallen Stadtfeld

Age: 18

Occupation: Black Knight and Ashford Academy Student.

Race: Britannian and Japanese.

Appearance: Kallen dresses up in many different ways. She starts the season out in a truck with a gang member of her brother's. She has a blue uniform on which was used to disguise her as a Britannian truck driver. She wore a cap which covered the top of her head and shadowed her eyes. She has no eye liner on. Since her eyes were so dangerous looking. A long stride of hair came out of both side of her head. Top corners. The rest came out from the back. Her skin was rough with so much tension and her face was stressed with all the comotion.

However, after they are hit, she is forced to operate her Knightmare Frame making her change into a brown, purple and silver suit. She has an inside purple shirt topped with a brown over coat. However, there is an open hole in her chest area letting her boobs flop out. Under that, she has a small brown skirt. Which she also has a small underwear. To hold the skirt, she has a silver colored belt and ontop of that, she has a purple headband holding her hair.

Knightmare Appearance: The Knightmare Frame Kallen will be using is the Guren MK-II. The Guren looks like a tall, reddish/purplish Knightmare Frame which looks out of the ordinary. It has a flexible body like Sakura. That's why she uses it. It has a claw for one of its arm. It has a Knight's head armor for a head. The Knightmare's armor is a very strong one. It can take several hits before breaking.

The Guren was made especially for Kallen because it almost resembles the Glasgow she used in the first episode. When she sits inside of the Knightmare Frame, she really is kind of laying down. The Guren has green eyes. It is also the first all Japanese made Knightmare Frame. This shows that Japanese aren't weak since the Knightmare Frame itself is extremely powerful and advanced.

Knightmare Abilities: The Guren is actually the only Knightmare Frame Kallen uses. The Guren has both extreme offensive and defensive abilities. The Guren's main offensive power is it's Radiation Arm. The arm is the only extreme offensive power the Guren has. Just one pulse from the Radiation destroys a Knightmare Frame. The other things the Knightmare uses is a Fork Knife which is used quite often. It also has a grenade launcher on its left arm which she uses when there are many Knightmare's in one place. She also has a single Slash Harken and has it's own custom built Free Fire Arm.

However, for defensive means, the Guren is quite well done. The Guren's flexibility lets it dodge most attacks easily. Also the Guren's speed is incredibly high allowing her to dodge bullets and grenades easily. However, also uses her Radiation Arm to take head on most missiles and blasts. However, it is not capable of taking on Lancelot Conquesta's Hadron Blaster.

History: Kallen’s past was no ordinary past. Her past was full of violence and murder. She herself was a terrorist however, also was a student in the Ashford Academy. She was a terrorist from a young age since she joined her brother and his terrorist group against Britannia.

But she did have some happy times with her brother. She used to play terrorist before the war had started. The game was that she has to hide from her brother and he would have to find her. Something like hide and seek but really not. And when he does find her, she could do two things, fight her way out in a friendly fight or she could just run away.

However, family death is also a big thing for Kallen. She still can't get over the fact her brother has died. She still has a deep connection with him even though he is dead. Making her vulnerable at his mention. Kallen's father however, is a Britannian and he marries a Britannian women after putting Kallen's mom as a house mad in his house.

She however, doesn't like her mom much. Her mom is very clumsy and she finds out why when she finds out she uses Refrain. Refrain is drug that makes you remember the good memories of the past. It helps forget bad memories when high from it. However, the side effects are clumsiness, blacking out and other stuff. So Kallen now starts to fight to change her moms way so she can stop using Refrain.

Now her quest to succeed it low since not only has her brother died but now she is all alone. Under the will of Britannia Kallen has no power to fight her self through. However, she still has a little hope with her friends such as Oghi and the others of the gang. Now all she can do is wait until she and her friends can find a leader who will eventually lead the rebellion to success. And this rebellion group will be the Black Knights.

Personality: Kallen is an extremely different from regular girls. She has strength that may be stronger than a football player and her flexibility helps her hit someone from far away. She is able to flip and spin and kick and punch a person in less than thirty seconds. Her first instincts are extremely fast. She is able to hit a cork which is going fast without hesitation.

However, when she is a Britannian student, she has to act as though she is weak. This is because she made the days she is absent because of her being weak. So she can actually go fight Britannia and not have to miss school. Doing so, she will always have an excuse to miss school.

Another side of Kallen is her afraid and innocent side. She is extremely afraid of losing her loved ones and friends. If any of her friends and love ones are in danger or hurt, she could never forgive herself. She is very weak and fragile when it comes to people close to her.

She also has a jealous side to her. She gets extremely jealous when it comes to Lelouch and Zero. Though they are the same people. However, she is also jealous of C.C because she knows who Zero is and Kallen doesn't. Also, she is jealous of Lelouch/Zero because not only can she not see who is behind the mask. However, she likes Lelouch and once even lets him see her naked by mistake.

Strengths:

Weaknesses:

Abilities:

Weapon Proficiency: Using guns, knives and Knightmare’s.

Allegiance: Black Knights

Extra: She is very shy when she is a student but fierce when being a Black Knights.

Role-Playing Sample: Kallen walked down the halls of Ashford Academy. Talk about having a three hour break from class. Boy did she hate them. She had finished the only assignment she had and was now ready to go to sleep. She has 2 hours left and she was bored like hell. So if she would go to sleep, she could spend two hours easily just sleeping. Heck she was sleepy too! So he got out of the Academy and started to walk over to the girls dormitory.

She got out of the school and decided to walk over to the school's big water fountain. She walked over there and sat down. She wasn't tired if you thought she was. She just wanted to sit next to the cold water. Making her feel as though she was not hot but feeling good. She saw her friends Cindy pass by and way hi and start walking. However, before Cindy could leave, she waved hi back and a bye.

She got up and started to walk over to the girld dormitory when she saw the guys swim team and grinned."Hot guys, six packs and slime builds"she thought and then started to go next to the pool. She saw many guys there. Hot, sexy and extremely delicous looking. She started druling until she remembered she had to go to sleep. Because tommoriw, she would not be in school but be rebelling against Briannia with Oghi.

She would have to be with a member of the group and rob an imoportant chemical gas. With that, they could maybe win. However, if the gas really was real and actually was poisonous, they would have to secure it safely. So she ran now back to the dormitory and fell asleep until she would back back up in one and a half hour. So she pulled the blanket up and closed her eyes.

[Lelouch Lamperouge]

Alright, I’ll get this started by letting you know that you’ve got the basics of an application here. You talk about the character and such, and it looks like you put some effort in to meet my standards, at least. This is going to be something of a lengthy review, but please bear with me. I’m not trying to be picky, I just need to hold my characters to a certain standard.

Let me start from the top. First of all, appearance is at a requirement of two paragraphs, so you should strive to match that. Keep in mind that this is a minimum; we encourage our members to write MORE than two, but we need to hold them to some sort of basis. Second, your appearance isn’t really appearance. An appearance should be a straight description of the character’s physical qualities, and nothing more than that. Your paragraph for her fits more under the category of personality than anything, though it could fit in history (and I noticed it was also the first paragraph of your history…did you get them mixed up?).

On to the Knightmare. Seeing as how this is a Code Geass RP starting from the beginning of the series, your application should only be about Kallen as she is in the very first episode. Therefore, any mention of the Guren S.E.I.T.E.N. needs to be taken out. While Kallen TECHNICALLY has the Glasgow in the beginning of the series, I am going to have you describe her first Guren, considering the Glasgow is a basic unit that should be common knowledge. Now, Knightmare appearance should be JUST like regular old appearance, just of the Knightmare. The same problem lies here as with Kallen’s appearance; you are describing the Knightmare’s abilities for the most part, not the way the Guren looks. This is a physical appearance, and while you do mention exactly what weaponry and armor the machine has, you need to elaborate a bit more, and stretch it to fit at least two paragraphs of pure description.

As for the Knightmare’s abilities, keep in mind that when Kallen gets her Inbuilt Radiation Wave Unit (the radiation arm), she does NOT get rid of all of her other weaponry, as you suggested. She still uses Slash Harkens, and typical cannons, and the like. Her arm is simply the main focus of her aggressive style of combat. Same goes here for with appearance, it should only be about the original Guren, not S.E.I.T.E.N.

Ok, as for history, I noticed that some parts of your application are copied DIRECTLY from Wikipedia and the like. We do not condone plagiarism…quite the opposite, in fact. Take the information that you have, and restate it in your own words. I want to see your skill as an RPer, and I do not get to see that if you copy and paste from another site. It won’t make me respect you any more than I would if you actually attempted to do it yourself, and also, I WILL find out about it, because I do check for these things. Applications with blatantly copied information will not be accepted, so make sure you rid yourself of any of that.

Your history should not have anything to do with the Code Geass series. Though we are based on the series, this plot takes place beginning with the first episode, and Clovis la Britannia’s announcement to Area 11 in the first episode. Therefore, any mention of what happens during the series needs to be removed. Your history should tell me the tale of Kallen before she got involved with Lelouch and such, and before we saw her. Talk about her family life, how she began to hate Britannia, how she got involved with terrorism. While we can’t know for sure what happened, we can infer a whole lot based on what we’re given. It’s tough, but if you have any trouble, ask me or someone else for help or ideas.

The last couple paragraphs of the history don’t really belong. In your history, you are basically telling a story; the story of Kallen Kozuki. Talking about her voice actor, or talking about how she is seemingly always embarrassed by appearing immodest in front of others is not talking about her past and things regarding it. Think of it as though you were writing an incredibly short novel about past events. If you need an example, please look at any of the accepted applications.

The personality is a bit sparse. While you seem to have three paragraphs, you only really talk about three aspects of Kallen, without going into much elaboration or detail about her character. Kallen’s a very deep person, and because she’s so emotional, you can get into her mind easier than some characters. Talk about her thoughts, her fears, her greatest ambitions and the like. Explain how she feels about things, and elaborate on it. Make us understand your character, and how they operate. If I had never watched Code Geass, and I read your app, I should be able to know exactly what kind of person Kallen is, and how she would react in different situations.

A couple errors leads me to my next point. Before you submit an application, please spell and grammar check the entire thing, first. It saves me a lot of time correcting typos, and saves you a lot of time because you don’t have to hear from me about it. It’s not a huge deal, but it’s an annoyance.

Your weapons proficiency includes her ability to use a Knightmare, so include that in this field. Also, her abilities section should include a few other things. She has more abilities than simply piloting a Knightmare, after all. Include physical fitness, accuracy with firearms, etc. into the equation.

On to the RP Sample. Please don’t make her seem OVERLY powerful when she’s in her Knightmare; she cannot take out one-hundred units in a matter of a split second, especially not with the limited range of her arm. Also, writing your posts in the past, rather than the present tense, helps keep things uniform. Rather than saying “she rises up”, or “she sends”; try “she rose into the air”, or “she sent”.

The last paragraph of your sample talked about someone named Sakura. Who is Sakura?

While the RP Sample met our standards when it comes to mere length, the content could improved immensely. Rather than just talking about her actions, almost as if you were listing them; include a bit of description for us. Talk about the scene, the facial expressions, the tone of voice. Give us a clear idea of what is going on. Also, include more of the thoughts Kallen could be having during this time. Let us get into Kallen’s head and see what she’s thinking as we read. Stretch out your thoughts, and give us a clear view of what you’re trying to say. Think of it was painting a picture with your words. If you need examples, again, look at the other accepted apps.

Now, I know it may seem disheartening that I have all of this to say, but believe me when I say that we will do anything we can to help you improve your application, and your RPing as well, if you wish. If you fix all of this, and I review it once more, I will see that you have commitment and dedication, and that’s one of the most important factors. Keep it up, and I hope this has been helpful for you. I look forward to seeing how you revise this, because I’d absolutely love to see you as Kallen, and I think you could thrive in the position, if you try.

[Kallen Kozuki]

Sorry Sakura has nothing to do with this other than being on 2 sites I know them from.

[Kallen Kozuki]

Forgot to mention, I'm done.